


As Requested

by ThorinOakenshield (Jensensational)



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Bubble Bath, Courtship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Foreign Language, Fretting Bilbo, Gen, Implied Character Death, Implied Mpreg, Knitting, M/M, Prompt Fill, Vicar of Dibley AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 7,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jensensational/pseuds/ThorinOakenshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.</i>
</p><p>-Henry David Thoreau</p><p>[Otherwise known as "The ficlets I wrote for prompts submitted to my tumblr"]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thorin/Bilbo: Bubble Bath

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to post the little ficlets I wrote for people on tumblr. I just loved the prompts: some were rather easy to fill and others were much harder as I had never written for certain requested pairings before. But all in all I highly enjoyed myself and look forward to adding more fills to this later :)
> 
>  **Anonymous** requested: [Thorin/Bilbo- Bilbo convinces Thorin to take a bubble bath :)](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44199791558)
> 
> So enjoy :)

Bilbo half wondered whether it was the smell lingering on the dwarf or the fact that he had the opportunity to see the dwarf’s body that made him feel so bold as to ask Thorin whether or not he would care to join him for a bath. Probably both. 

Thorin was reluctant, still a little unsure about the hobbit even after going through so much together. Or at least that’s what Bilbo believed. Though, if he thought about it, he did make it sound rather sexual when he had asked the dwarf to join him. 

“I mean to clean off!” Bilbo said quickly, “I figured it would save time and water if we just bathed together.”

Thorin gave Bilbo a strange look that Bilbo labeled as a form of amusement before beginning to undress. Bilbo really didn’t mean to stare, but it was sort of difficult not to when the dwarf he had been fantasizing about was stripping down to nothing right in front of him. 

“Right I’ll just be in the bath then,” Bilbo muttered, quickly turning away and heading into the hot water. He chuckled at the bubbles that had formed on top due to the soap he had poured into the water, moving them around with one hand playfully.

His gaze instantly flicked up as he watched Thorin enter the bath. Thorin raised a brow at the bubbles and Bilbo simply smiled.

“I’m sorry. Just a fondness of mine,” Bilbo said.

“I’ve never seen water do this,” Thorin said, cupping some of the bubble covered water in his hands.

“What? Surely you’re joking?” Bilbo asked.

“No. We didn’t have waters like this in Erebor,” Thorin stated as he sat down and let the water cover his body and shoulders. Bilbo was going to respond, but he lost whatever he was going to say the moment he realized that the bubbles were clinging to Thorin’s beard and hair. A laugh erupted out of him and Thorin’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“And what is so funny?”

“I’m sorry! The bubbles are sticking to you!” Bilbo said through his laughter. Thorin looked down and noticed the hobbit was indeed right. He started to chuckle and soon he was laughing with the hobbit.


	2. Dwalin/Ori: Learning to Knit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Dwalin/Ori, where Dwalin tries to knit Ori a scarf to show his affections?](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44202325170)

Dwalin was an honored dwarf. He had title, he had wealth. He was known for his valiant acts in battle and for the services he had provided for King Thorin. He had faced legions of orcs and goblins. He had helped slay a dragon and reclaim a kingdom. He was a hero, someone to be respected and admired. Some called him brave and fearless, others immortal. Dwalin was certain there was nothing he couldn’t handle, no challenge he could not face and overcome. That was until he had decided to court Ori.

He wasn’t sure when he had developed feelings for the youngest Ri Brother, but he didn’t bother questioning it. The fact of the matter was he cared deeply for Ori and intended to court him. The only problem was, he wasn’t sure what to do to show his interest. 

Ori was different; he didn’t care for the typical things dwarves wanted (such as jewels or weapons). He liked delicate, cozy things. So Dwalin had decided to knit Ori a scarf that would bring out the color in Ori’s bright eyes and show others that Ori was his. The only issue was, he had no idea how to knit. He intended to ask for help, but knew that he would more than likely be teased for such a thing.

That’s when he recruited Ori’s aid. Who better to teach him how to knit the master of knitting himself? Naturally when Ori asked why Dwalin wanted to learn, Dwalin had come up with some bullshit story about wanting to make himself a sweater for the approaching winter. 

Ori, as it turned out, was an excellent teacher. He was patient and kind and did his best to help whenever Dwalin made a mistake. After a few weeks, Dwalin had enough knowledge and skill to be able to knit a scarf. He thanked Ori for his time and assistance and quickly got to work.

Two weeks later he had finally finished it. 

When he presented it to Ori, the younger dwarf was surprised and astonished. He smiled happily as he accepted the scarf and wrapped it around his neck. Dwalin puffed up a little in pride, pleased that his intended had accepted his gift. 

“This is for you,” Ori said, fetching a box and presenting it to Dwalin. Dwalin opened it to find a large crimson red sweater inside, clearly made by Ori. He grinned at the smaller dwarf and asked what it was for.

“Originally it was to be a gift, that I would leave for you to interpret any way you desired,” Ori stated, “But now I give it to you as a sign that I accept your courting and wish to continue it.”

Dwalin’s grin widened at that earning a small blush from the other dwarf.

“I look forward to it,” he said.


	3. Thorin/Bilbo: What Made You Fall In Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **[hachimitsulemon](http://hachimitsulemon.tumblr.com/)** requested: [Thorin/Bilbo Domestic fluff. One day their dwobbit son/daughter/Frodo asks Thorin "Da, what makes you fall in love with Papa?". (Bonus, after that s/he asks Bilbo the same question)](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44203350698)

Thorin was tired after having spent almost the whole day answering Frodo’s questions. The little hobbit was very curious, having reached that age where he wanted to learn about EVERYTHING he saw or heard. He had bombarded Thorin with hundreds of questions and Thorin wondered briefly how Bilbo managed to deal with this little hobbit all day. 

“So?”

“Hm?”

“What made you fall in love with Uncle Bilbo?” Frodo asked, bouncing excitedly in his seat next to Thorin. Thorin was about to answer when he noticed Bilbo heading toward them. 

“Why don’t you ask your Uncle what made him fall in love with me instead, young hobbit?” Frodo agreed and hurried off to ask Bilbo. Thorin picked up the sound of Bilbo laughing and smiled at the two hobbits standing near him. 

“I think it was his smile,” Bilbo said, “He rarely shows it, but it is far lovelier than any jewel.”

“Ewww. Uncle! That’s so lovey!” Frodo whined.

“Well you wanted to know,” Bilbo replied, sending a smile Thorin’s way.


	4. Bilbo/Ori: Sweater Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Bilbo is cold and Ori's knitted sweater looks incredibly warm.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44204125206)

Ori notices the slight shivering fit that Bilbo seems to be having. He notices how it seems to be reoccurring as the night progresses. He wonders if maybe hobbits don’t give off the same heat that dwarves do and realizes as the hobbit shivers again that Bilbo must be freezing.

He moves to sit next to the hobbit and he notices how Bilbo leans closer, trying to get some of the body heat coming off of Ori. Ori smiles brightly at him and asks if Bilbo would like his sweater. Bilbo refuses, arguing that Ori would be cold without it. Ori laughs and points out that the sweater is huge and could probably fit both of them.

Some maneuvering later, Ori and Bilbo are snuggled up in Ori’s large sweater. They are chatting and laughing and neither one notices Gandalf watching them with a small smile of his own. Ori was always a more gentle dwarf, a hobbit (a creature that is gentle and sweet by nature) would be a fine match for a dwarf like him.


	5. Thorin/Bilbo: Rainy Day Cuddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Bagginshield - Rainy day cuddles. Hobbits are early risers and Bilbo is no different. But it has been raining that morning and he doesn't want to leave his king's warm embrace. Sleeping in once or twice won't kill anybody.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44204447216)

At first Thorin thought that the hobbit in his arms was ill. After several years together, he had learned that the hobbit was an early riser. In fact the only days he ever refused to get up were days on which he wasn’t feeling quite well. 

Thorin realized, as Bilbo cuddled in closer to him, a small smile on his sleeping face, that Bilbo was perfectly fine. It’s after he heard the sound of rain that he understood. He smiled and pressed a kiss to the hobbit’s brow before leaning back and pulling Bilbo close. He sighed and grabbed the blankets to pull them up higher and keep the pair of them warm. 

If Bilbo wanted to sleep in, Thorin was more than happy to oblige.


	6. Bilbo/Bofur: Bilbo Misses Bofur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **[astridquackenbush](http://astridquackenbush.tumblr.com/)** requested: [Bilbo/Bofur: After the events of The Hobbit, a dwarf visits Bilbo, which turns out to be Balin. Although delighted to see his old friend, Bilbo wished it was someone else.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44277818631)

Bilbo had thought after growing so close to the dwarves they would visit. As the years went by, he realized he had been mistaken. He began to wonder if they ever truly cared, if any of them ever thought of him or missed him. He missed them all dearly; but there was one dwarf he longed to see again. On his journey, Bilbo had grown particularly close with Bofur. The toymaker was so easy going and kind that it was hard not to be drawn to him. 

Bofur had a laugh that was so jolly and full of life. And Bilbo found himself missing it each day. He missed hearing the dwarf’s crazy stories, missed hearing his words of encouragement and kindness. He had hoped that Bofur would venture out to see him, but not even he had returned to the Shire. 

Bilbo thought he was imagining things when he had heard Frodo say, “Uncle, there’s a dwarf here to see you!” 

For a moment he felt hope. Hope that his friends missed him as much as he missed them. Hope that Bofur, whom he had been trying to contact for a while, had finally decided to respond by showing up at Bilbo’s door. Bilbo rushed to the door and was surprised to see Balin there. 

“Balin! My dear Balin come in!” Bilbo said, stepping aside to allow the other dwarf entrance. Balin, it appeared, was alone and had come to check up on Bilbo as well as fill Bilbo in on what everyone else was up to. 

“So you mean to take back Moria?” Bilbo asked with a slight frown.

“Yes. I have a feeling we may not be successful,” Balin said softly, “But we shall try nonetheless.” 

“And who is going with you on this journey?”

“Ori, Oin, and myself are the only three you would know, dear Bilbo,” Balin said.

“What of the others?”

“Many of them, I’m afraid, have fallen already or will not come,” Balin admitted with a sigh. Bilbo’s breath caught at that.

“And…And what of Bofur?” Bilbo asked. Balin gave him a knowing look before sighing.

“I’m sorry laddie,” Balin said. He opened his mouth to say more but stopped when he saw the look on Bilbo’s face. Bilbo didn’t need to hear anymore to know that Bofur, sweet kind Bofur, had passed. Bilbo felt his heart tighten and did all he could not to cry in front of Balin.


	7. Thorin/Bilbo: Bilbo fretting over an ill Thorin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Thorin/Bilbo, in which Thorin catches a cold and Bilbo frets and takes care of him.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44279302928)

Dwarves did not get ill. Dwarves were hard and could deal with anything. They did _not_ get _ill_. Or at least that was the line Thorin had fed to Bilbo when Bilbo had insisted that the sickly king rest in bed for the day. 

Thorin accused Bilbo of being a worrywart, said that Bilbo was fretting over nothing. Bilbo disagreed, argued that for a being who couldn’t get sick he sure was sporting a mighty high fever. After that Thorin reluctantly agreed to rest for a bit. 

Bilbo, being consort to the king, spent most of his day taking care of the king. He made sure he was rested, fed, and drank enough water. Thorin claimed to be fine once more; though, if being ill meant that he could spend the day with Bilbo (even a worried Bilbo) then he would be more than happy to let sickness take him (if only for a little while).


	8. Thorin/Bilbo: Strangers on an Elevator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **[veelez](http://veelez.tumblr.com/)** requested: [Each day, on his way back from work, Bilbo shares the elevator with a man named Thorin in the apartment block in which he lives.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44279771011)

It’s gotten to the point where all Bilbo has to do is nod at the other man and the other man will push the elevator button for him. Bilbo feels he should be a little more concerned that this man he hardly knows has which floor Bilbo lives on memorized.

“Rough day at the office?” the other man asks.

“Hm? Oh yes, dreadful,” Bilbo says, “But as always, everything worked out in the end.”

“I wish I had that look on things,” the man says, “You are always so positive.”

“Well thank you, I suppose.”

“I don’t believe we have ever actually introduced ourselves to one another,” the man says as he turns his focus to Bilbo, “I’m Thorin. I live two floors above you.” 

Bilbo smiles brightly at the man before giving his name in return. 

“Can I ask you something Bilbo?”

“You just did. But you can ask something else.”

“Do you think it would be acceptable to ask a person out whom you know absolutely nothing about,” Thorin asks.

“Well I think it would depend on the person you are asking.”

“What if I were to ask you…would you accept?”

“Me? Well I-“

“-Would you accept?” Bilbo stares at Thorin, searching his face for any sign that getting to know this man, that possibly becoming intimate with this man, could be a disaster. After a few more moments of finding nothing, he responds.

“I would.”


	9. Thorin/Bilbo: Thorin is spoiling the dwobbits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Thorin is spoiling their kids and Bilbo scolded Thorin for it. Thorin can't help it though because their dwobbit son is like a cute mini Bilbo.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44280494284)

Curls were rather uncommon amongst dwarves. Wavy hair was popular enough, but no dwarf had perfect curls. Bilbo, for a while, had been the only inhabitant of Erebor to sport such wonderful locks. That was until the “dwobbits” (as Kili so aptly named them) arrived.

Thorin was certain that since his children looked more dwarf than hobbit that their hair would be thick and plentiful like dwarven hair. However, he was surprised to see that their hair was thinner than average and incredibly curly. To most they seemed like normal dwarves, if a little shorter than normal. But to a dwarf it was obvious that they were of mixed parentage. 

However, the dwarves of Erebor seemed fascinated by the curly locks and many of the dwarves had attempted to mimic the look. This, naturally, caused Thorin to puff up with pride. The fact that his children had looks that others envied and tried to copy made him proud and in his pride, he tended to spoil the children. 

Bilbo noticed of course. Noticed that Thorin loved to sneak the kids little treats or let them stay up a little later than they were allowed. 

It got worse when Forlin was born. Forlin was the only dwobbit child who was far more hobbit than he was dwarf. He was small, and his feet were large and covered with hair. His ears were pointed and he had a cute button nose. It was quite obvious which parent he took after. In fact the only dwarf feature on him were his eyes which looked exactly like his father’s. 

Thorin tended to spoil Forlin the most. Part of it was because he knew that Forlin would have the hardest time out of the 5 dwobbit children growing up. He’d be bullied, teased, and hurt. He’d stand out and some of the older, crueler, citizens of Erebor would surely remind Forlin that he was different.

Another part of Thorin wanted to spoil Forlin purely because he looked like a miniature version of Bilbo. And honestly what more reasoning did he need for spoiling an adorable dwobbit child?


	10. Thorin/Bilbo: Thorin tries to Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Bagginshield: Thorin tries to apologize to Bilbo after another one of their lover's spat. The company tries to give him advice and (very much unneeded and unhelpful) emotional support.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/44281302473)

Bilbo wanted nothing to do with Thorin. If the dwarf wanted to run off headfirst into certain death at every waking second then fine! Honestly he was getting rather sick of it all. Was it too much to ask to have a day where they could just relax and enjoy one another’s company? 

Thorin, as per usual, had no idea what he had done wrong. Bilbo huffed and ignored the overly apologetic dwarf. He did, however, listen in to the terrible advice the other dwarves were attempting to give their future king. 

“Bilbo, please,” Thorin said softly as he took a seat next to the hobbit, “I do not know what I did to upset you so, dear hobbit…but I pray you, forgive me.”

“I just,” Bilbo said with a sigh, “I just can’t watch you throw your life away like that. I mean do you not care if you live or die?”

“I care greatly whether I live or die; however, dying in battle is very honorable.”

“Yes I get that, but wanting an honorable death is no reason to just throw your life away like it means nothing, you know!” 

“Ah,” Thorin said with a small grin, “You are upset because you were worried.”

“Of course I was bloody worried!” Bilbo shouted, “Wouldn’t you be worried if I kept charging recklessly into battle?”

“Very much so,” Thorin said softly, “I am sorry for worrying you, dear hobbit.”

“Yes well I suspect that it won’t be the last time that it happens, either.”

“No.” Bilbo sighed again and moved to cuddle into Thorin’s side.

“I suppose I will have to learn how to adapt then,” Bilbo said.

“I will help you,” Thorin agreed before smiling softly at the hobbit curled into his side.


	11. Thorin/Bilbo: Bilbo has Amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Thorin/Bilbo - Bilbo has amnesia (either temporarily or permanently)](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/45541142712)

Thorin woke to the sound of Bilbo screaming next to him. He bolted up and quickly turned over to try and comfort the hobbit. Bilbo, however, had fallen off the bed and was staring at Thorin with wide eyes; his body shaking as he fell silent. 

“Dear heart, what is wrong?” Thorin asked, “Did you have another nightmare?” 

“Who-who are y-you?” Bilbo asked, his voice sounding frightened and fragile.

“Are you feeling quite well, good thief?” Thorin asked as he stood and walked toward the shaking hobbit.

“St-stay back! Whoever you are!” Bilbo said as he scurried further away from the dwarf. Thorin froze as he looked at the horrified look on Bilbo’s face. He stared into the hobbit’s hazel eyes and gasped lightly for he could not see any sign of his Bilbo within them.

“I am Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror,” Thorin said, “I am also your husband.”

“Husband?” Bilbo asked, “If you are my husband, then why do I not know who you are?” He looked angry, frightened and suspicious and Thorin felt his heart ache at the sight.

“I do not know, dear heart,” Thorin stated as he sighed and knelt down to be more eye level with Bilbo, “But I swear to you, that I care for you deeply and will never do anything to hurt you. So please, my sweet hobbit, do not be frightened of me.”

Bilbo eyed Thorin for a moment before sighing and giving a weak smile as he slid a little closer to Thorin, being sure to still keep some distance in case the dwarf was lying. He looked into the king’s eyes for a moment before sliding even closer.

“You’re telling the truth,” Bilbo said firmly. It wasn’t a question and Thorin smiled in reply.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember you.”

“So long as you are by my side, I am content,” Thorin said softly, “Even if you do not remember me.”

“It’s a shame I don’t remember you, at present,” Bilbo said with a faint blush, “I feel I’d fancy you.”


	12. Thorin/Bilbo: Bilbo takes an arrow for Thorin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Bagginshield... Bilbo takes an arrow that was meant for Thorin, protecting his life but got badly injured (But please don't kill him off OAO) I'm a big fan of your fic btw <3 ](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/45542881656)

Bilbo had never been one to believe that the past would repeat itself. Yet there he was, standing still as Thorin was tossed around as if he was nothing by a large group of orcs. He felt his heart race painfully; the same pain he felt when he charged at the orc about to behead Thorin during their journey. He felt his feet move, felt the earth kick up under him as he ran toward the mass of beings Thorin was, now, successfully pushing back. 

As he got closer he spotted a shadow in the distance and almost instantly identified it as a bigger threat than the orcs trying to get at him. An archer. One well aimed arrow could do a lot of damage; Bilbo knew this all too well. He was close now and he felt his heart stop as he saw the archer pull the string back. 

He ran faster, shouting for Thorin as he moved. Thorin’s gaze flicked to the hobbit and a look of worry, anger, and fear crossed his features as he shouted for Bilbo to go. 

Bilbo wasn’t quite sure what happened next; one moment he was running to Thorin, the next he was bleeding in the dwarf’s arms, an arrow sticking out of the side of his abdomen. Thorin looked worried and scared, like a child and Bilbo wanted nothing more than hold and comfort the other being.

“Thorin, it’s all right,” Bilbo said, his voice hoarse.

“No. This is far from all right,” Thorin said, “Two times you have sacrificed yourself for me and I feared I would lose you. But this time, I truly might.” His voice broke and Bilbo could see what looked to be tears forming in the corners of Thorin’s eyes.

“Thorin, none of that,” Bilbo said softly, “I still have some fight in me, some strength.”

He slowly reached his hand up and place it gently on the side of Thorin’s face as he spoke, “It will take more than some arrow to separate me from you, my king.”


	13. Dwalin/Thorin: Pre-the fall of Erebor Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **[oakenshielde](http://oakenshielde.tumblr.com/)** requested: [dwalin/thorin, pre-smaug fluff](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/45543689651)

Cuddling was not something Dwalin was accustomed to. He was use to a meaningless night with some random being in a tavern and then leaving before the sun was up. He was most certainly not use to waking up to an arm full of a very handsome sleeping dwarf. He was definitely new to the odd, yet wonderful, feeling of having someone curl up into his side after a passionate night and fall asleep beside him. 

He found himself waking up and smiling at the dwarf using his chest as a pillow, running a hand through the other’s thick hair fondly. He noticed that his partner looked so young and peaceful in his sleep, so Dwalin remained as still as possible as he continued to smile and hold the dwarf.

Though he may not be used to such tender moments, to these soft mornings full of love and peace, he wouldn’t trade them for anything. And the fact that he was the only one who knew that Thorin Oakenshield, heir to the throne of Erebor, was a huge softy with a love for cuddling and spooning made him cherish those moments that much more.


	14. Thorin/Bilbo: Thorin getting jealous over nothing really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous** requested: [Bagginshield with... jealous Thorin and amused dwarrows?](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/45544998132)

Bofur was being rather friendly to Bilbo…too friendly. Or at least, that’s what Thorin thought. His thoughts took a more drastic turn when Bofur presented Bilbo with a spare hat he had to “keep his pointy ears warm” on their journey. Bilbo accepted the gift and Thorin felt a stir of jealousy within him. Providing for the hobbit in such a way was, amongst his people, a sign that you desired to court them. He growled bitterly as Bofur walked past. The nerve! Didn’t Bofur realize that Thorin was, and had been, courting the hobbit for some time now? 

“And what has you so riled up?” Bilbo asked, amusement in his voice.

“You should not have accepted that hat,” Thorin said.

“Why not? It was a gift between friends. No harm in that.” Thorin scoffed at that and heard a snigger come from behind him. Well, he was certainly pleased the other dwarves found this rather serious situation so amusing. 

“Thorin,” Bilbo said softly as he sat beside the dwarf and looked into his eyes, “There is nothing between Bofur and I. The only dwarf I have my sights set on is a stubborn future king.” Thorin relaxed a little at that but immediately grew jealous again the moment Bofur commented, “Though if you don’t finish your courtship I’ll gladly court him instead!”


	15. Thorin/Bilbo: Vicar of Dibley AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous requested: [Ewe reblogged this gifset from Vicar of Dibley (the scene where Geraldine is having the musical fantasy thing when she thinks Harry is marrying Rosie). And she had a tag about Bilbo and so I want a scene where Bilbo misinterprets Thorin's relationship with Dis as them being together so he has all these fantasies of him getting Dis out of the picture.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/77033626886)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write! I love the Vicar of Dibley and so being asked to write an AU based off of it was a blast!  
> I didn't exactly do what the Anon requested, but I hope you all enjoy regardless.

Though Bofur often drove Bilbo mad with his strange stories and, well, strangeness as a whole, he had not wanted his best friend to leave. Especially not when he was coping with the fact that the man he had so foolishly fallen in love with so quickly was, in fact, in a relationship with someone else.

It reminded him too much of what had happened with Smaug: he had just been a distraction, a side fling then. And unfortunately, it appeared that he was once again a side fling.

He heard a knock on his door and sighed. He mused to himself that this was one of his many “husbands and wives” (as Bofur had labeled the people of the village) before opening the door to see Thorin standing on his front stoop. He did his best not to frown at the sight of the man: after all he was the last person Bilbo wanted to see at present.

"Evening Vicar," Thorin greeted, looking a little rough.

"Evening Thorin," Bilbo said politely, "Was there something you needed?"

"I was wondering, if I might have a word?"

"Right. Yeah, of course," Bilbo said as he stepped aside and motioned for Thorin to enter. Thorin did so with a nod as Bilbo closed the door behind him with a sigh.

"What did you wish to talk about?"

"Actually, I had a rather important question to ask you and I may as well just come straight out with it," Thorin said as he took a steadying breath, "I’ve thought about it a lot and talked about it a lot. And I wondered whether or not you would consider marrying me?"

Bilbo sighed, doing all he could to appear calm under circumstances. This was exactly what he didn’t wish to hear. It certified his belief that Thorin was in a relationship with Dis, the lovely woman staying with him. He took a breath before replying, “Well, yes of course I’d be delighted to.”

Bilbo turned on his heel, heading into his living room with Thorin close behind him. Thorin moved to stand by the fireplace while excitedly saying, “That’s wonderful news!”

"Have you thought about any dates?" Bilbo asked as he sat at his desk with another sigh.

"Well I think we can discuss that a little," Thorin replied.

"Well I may put a little punt in for Christmas as it is a very romantic time of year."

"That sounds fine. If Christmas sounds good to you," Thorin said, suddenly looking a little confused.

Bilbo nodded before pulling out the church diary and flipping it to December.

"There is a spot available on the twenty-second if that works," Bilbo stated to which Thorin nodded his approval. "Good. Well since you are here we may as well get some of the other paperwork squared away."

"Um. Sure," Thorin said, looking even more perplexed and slightly concerned.

"All right. Well I need your full name, Thorin."

"Thorin Oakenshield Durin," Thorin said slowly and clearly.

"Oakenshield? Goodness let’s hope that doesn’t get too much of a giggle."

"Fingers crossed."

"All right. Now what is the full name of the lucky bride-to-be?" Bilbo asked with a slight frown.

"Well…"

"Oh come now Thorin! You shouldn’t be marrying someone if you don’t even know their name!" Bilbo scolded before turning his attention back to his admin papers.

"Well. Obviously it’s Bilbo."

"Bilbo," Bilbo repeated as he wrote.

"Baggins."

"Bagg-" Bilbo froze, his eyes going wide as he spun around to look at Thorin, "Pardon?"

"It’s Bilbo Baggins. I’m asking you to marry me, Bilbo Baggins," Thorin said softly, a look of understanding crossing his features.

Bilbo rose to his feet, looking quite flustered all of the sudden. His mouth hung open as he thought of what to say.

"But what. What about that woman you’ve been living with? Dis! The pretty one! What about her?"

"My sister?"

"WHAT?!" Bilbo exclaimed loudly in shock.

"She’s my closest friend. I consult her about everything."

"What?!"

"She came to help me decide if it was too rash or too soon or too stupid but finally I decided that I must follow my heart," Thorin stated.

Bilbo could only stand there in shock, at a loss for words. He attempted to speak but only a gurgle of noise came out. He covered his mouth, unsure of how to respond as the realization that he had been wrong, that this man did love him and was not using him as some side affair, hit him.

"Will…Will you excuse me for a moment?" Bilbo asked. Thorin nodded and watched as Bilbo quickly ran out of the house. He rushed around the village, trying to clear his head and calm his excitement as he began to understand that he had just been proposed to. He found himself standing outside of Thorin’s cottage and he knocked on the door excitedly and smiled when Dis answered. She offered a grin and Bilbo immediately pulled her into a tight embrace before kissing her cheek and rushing off to his own home.

He entered his living room to see Thorin sitting on the arm of his sofa. He moved to stand directly in front of him, a large smile on his face. Thorin visibly relaxed at the sight of Bilbo’s smile and couldn’t help but smile in response.

"Let me be absolutely sure I’ve got this straight!" Bilbo said, "You are asking me to marry you."

"Yes," Thorin said, "I love you, Bilbo Baggins, and I want to be with you."

Bilbo let out a shrill scream of excitement at that before flinging himself into Thorin’s arms. Thorin laughed merrily at that as he moved his arms to wrap around Bilbo’s waist. Bilbo smiled brightly before cupping Thorin’s face in his hands and smashing their mouths together in a sloppy but passionate kiss.

"Can I take that as a yes?" Thorin asked when Bilbo pulled back.

"Yes. You certainly can."


	16. Kili/Tauriel: Learning Languages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous requested: [Kiliel where Kili and Tauriel secretly teach each other Khuzdul and Sindarin while Kili is locked up in Mirkwood.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/77036202032)

"Gi nathlam hí," Tauriel said slowly. Kili attempted to repeat the words and Tauriel couldn’t help but give a small smile as he stumbled over nathlam.

"That was very close, young dwarf," Tauriel said.

"What does it mean?" Kili asked.

"You are welcome here."

"Well I certainly feel welcomed," Kili said with a dramatic sigh, "Since I am locked in this cell and all."

Tauriel ignored his complaint and instead motioned for him to speak.

"Fine. Menu gamut khed," Kili said softly, not wanting the other dwarves to hear him speak their sacred language to an elf so fondly. Tauriel attempted to repeat what Kili had said, frowning slightly when she realized she couldn’t quite pronounce the last word properly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" Kili trailed off, his face a little red as a look of embarrassment crossed his face.

"Did you just insult me?" Tauriel probed, a look of curiosity appearing on her face.

"No. No. I said, ‘You are a wonderful person’…Or, that’s essentially what I said."

"Ah. Well in that case I thank you," Tauriel replied, "Guren glassui." Kili nodded and smiled slightly as he looked at Tauriel through the bars of his cell. They continued like that, exchanging words and phrases spoken by their people, talking softly so that none would hear.

"Men lananubukhs menu," Kili said with such a gentle sound to his voice that Tauriel could have sworn it was a confession. Tauriel repeated it to the best of her ability, watching as Kili gave a goofy grin in response.

"And what did you and I just say?" Tauriel asked with a raised brow.

"That I cannot tell you. At least not now," Kili said, "But someday, I hope you will feel the same." Tauriel tilted her head at that and Kili simply smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Men lananubukhs menu" is Khuzdul for "I Love You" :D


	17. Thorin/Bilbo: Sappy Braiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Anonymous requested: Liv write me a thilbo thingy I need something happy.](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/42339316943)

Bilbo’s hair, throughout the journey, had gotten even curlier (if at all possible) as well as longer. In fact it was getting to the point where Bilbo honestly wanted nothing more than to take his “letter opener” and use it to chop off his curly locks. 

He groaned in annoyance as a strand of hair got in his face. He swatted at it bitterly as he continued to unpack his bag for the evening. The stubborn curl kept falling back and Bilbo was about to rip it out if it didn’t start behaving. He had had enough and was reaching for his sword when he heard someone clear their throat. 

He looked up and saw Thorin standing near him, looking at him with a hint of amusement. 

"Yes?" Bilbo asked, not bothering to hide his irritation.

"You seem quite bothered, good thief. What troubles you?" Thorin asked as he sat down beside the hobbit.

"It’s my hair. It’s gotten ridiculously long and now I can’t seem to keep it under control," Bilbo admitted, "I should honestly just chop it off."

"Would you like me to help?" Thorin asked.

"How?"

"I could braid it for you," Thorin suggested. Bilbo thought about it for a moment. The dwarves did have long messy hair, and their braids did seem to help keep it out of their faces. He nodded and moved slightly so Thorin could have better access to his hair.

Thorin offered the hobbit the barest of smiles before getting to work. Bilbo found himself relaxing as Thorin gently threaded Bilbo’s locks together into a secure braid. He did a few others while he had Bilbo sitting there and Bilbo let out a small sigh of content.

"What do the braids mean?" Bilbo asked, his gaze on Fili and Kili who were sitting on the other side of camp fixing one another’s braids.

"They are signs of love," Thorin stated, "Some represent the love of your kin, others represent the love of your spouse." 

Bilbo started slightly at that. He glanced toward Thorin, his face red.

"And…what do these braids mean?"

"That depends, good thief," Thorin said, "What would you like for them to mean?"

"I. I think I would very much like for them to one day, possibly, mean the love of a spouse." Bilbo looked down at his hands in embarrassment as he heard Thorin chuckle lightly beside him.

"Well then, when we reclaim Erebor, I would be honored to braid your hair," Thorin stated, "as your spouse."


	18. Thorin/Bilbo: Reunited in the Undying Lands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't a request, but I sort of needed it so I here it is :)

Bilbo had been in the Undying Lands for quite some time when he saw the dwarf. Right away, Bilbo can see the resemblance to Gloin. The dwarf was with an elf, laughing merrily and Bilbo couldn't help but smile as he watched them. The knowledge that a dwarf had been allowed into these lands left Bilbo feeling a slight sense of longing.

There was a time, in his youth, when he had traveled with 13 dwarves. He found them to be far better company than elves (though he’d never admit it); however he would admit that he missed them terribly. Especially their king, Thorin. Bilbo used to laugh to himself when thoughts of Thorin arose. How humorous it was: Thorin had doubted and disliked the hobbit at first; yet somehow they had become the closest of friends. Bilbo sighed as he rose to his feet. They had become something far greater than friends.

Bilbo never told Frodo about his relationship with Thorin; never told anyone. He kept it secret, and sacred. And truth be told, not a day went by in which Bilbo didn’t dream of mountains, of strong hands, of a warm embrace. He missed Thorin more than he could say, and he wished there was some way to be with him.

Over supper, Bilbo overheard some of the others talking about bringing people from other lands to the Undying Lands. Bilbo listened intently, wondering if they meant Middle Earth, or somewhere else. He couldn’t gather much information and eventually excused himself from the table.

Three months later, a ship arrived from a land Bilbo had never heard of. The ship carried dwarves, men, elves. People who had died and were now being offered a place to live in the Undying Lands. Bilbo was curious about their land. What was it like?

Another three months later a ship arrived full of people who had died heroes. People who had done something for the greater good. Bilbo prayed that Thorin would walk off of it; but once again he was let down.

The ships kept coming, and after the fifth ship, Bilbo stopped looking. What good was there in getting your hopes up for nothing? Instead he sat in his room and thought of the adventures he had had.

After the thirteenth ship had arrived, Bilbo had learned to simply ignore the excitement of newcomers and simply return home. He entered his house with a sigh, doing all he could to not let himself accept that he had once again gotten his hopes up. He hung his coat and turned the corner to his kitchen, immediately freezing as he spotted a stranger standing by his hearth. He frowned and took in the appearance of the stranger. He was a dwarf, clearly, with dark hair. With his back turned, Bilbo couldn't see his face.

"Can I help you with something?" Bilbo asked, trying to alert the stranger to his presence. It was then that the stranger turned around and Bilbo saw a face he had believed he’d never see again.The stranger’s storm blue eyes twinkled lightly in amusement as Bilbo moved toward him. Eventually Bilbo found himself in the arms of the stranger, a large smile on his face.

"Thorin."

"You look surprised."

"I was certain I would never see you again," Bilbo said, pressing himself closer to the dwarf. Thorin gave a soft smile at that before tightening the embrace to keep Bilbo as close as possible.

"Do not worry, my friend," Thorin said, his voice vibrating through Bilbo’s body, "I’m not going anywhere."


	19. Thranduil/Thorin: Past Forbidden Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You have given me several reasons why I ought to let you pledge yourself to him. He is clearly an unacceptable match and unworthy of being with the crown prince of Greenwood the Great. Still, I cannot help but wonder, why are you so determined to be with him?" Oropher turns with all the grace of a king as he finally looks his son in the eye, "Why fight for him when you know I will not change my mind?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Anonymous** requested: [I demand Thorinduil. Now. Something angsty please](http://livx18.tumblr.com/post/112013206356)
> 
> So quickly:  
> This is very much an AU because Oropher died in SA 3434, Legolas was born probably shortly after TA 1000, and Thorin wasn't born until TA 2746. But since it's an AU (and this is more Movie Verse) we'll just go with it! :)
> 
> Also, warnings for canonical character death and some angst/sadness

He sees the emotions burning in Tauriel’s eyes, the intensity of them all causing him to pause. She accuses him of lacking love in his life, in his very being, and he hastily pulls out his sword to disarm her.

"What do you know of love?" Thranduil asks, the words sounding all too familiar, "Nothing! What you feel for that dwarf is not real."

Tears start pooling in her eyes as he moves his sword to her chest. He has seen that look before, many years ago, on his own face. He does not dwell on it and instead continues to speak.

"You think it is love? Are you ready to die for it?" He feels shaken, and for a moment he is ready to kill the elf before him. Legolas intervenes then and Thranduil suddenly feels defeated, drained. He doesn’t show his exhaustion, doesn’t want his soldiers to see him in a weakened state.

Somewhere in the depths of his heart is a memory: a memory of an elf prince standing up against his father, trying to convince his father to allow the prince to pledge himself to someone the father deemed unacceptable.

* * *

 

 

"Father, I know he is young now, however in time he will grow and—"

"You are right. He will grow. And after he has matured he will continue to grow until he succumbs to old age and death finally claims him."

"Father."

"You have given me several reasons why I ought to let you pledge yourself to him. He is clearly an unacceptable match and unworthy of being with the crown prince of Greenwood the Great. Still, I cannot help but wonder, why are you so determined to be with him?" Oropher turns with all the grace of a king as he finally looks his son in the eye, "Why fight for him when you know I will not change my mind?"

The prince remains silent for a moment, afraid of what voicing the truth will cause. He has grown fond of the dwarf in question, has seen the goodness in his heart. He has learned that dwarves are fiercely loyal and though they are stubborn and not too bright, they are skilled in crafts and kind to those they care for. There is a strange beauty to them, and the prince can’t help but feel drawn to the dwarf of his affections.

The silence drags on for another moment before the prince replies, “I love him, father.”

"Love?" The king echoes, "What do you know of love?" There is a harshness in Oropher’s gaze and the prince suddenly regrets speaking of his true feelings.

"My son, you know nothing of love. What you feel for that dwarf is not real."

"It is. It is real!" The prince retorts, "I feel at peace when I am with him, father. I feel whole."

"You think it is love? Are you prepared to fight for it? Die for it? Are you prepared to watch as the one you love succumbs to his mortality and withers away whilst you, my son, live on? He will die—today, tomorrow, a hundred years from now—and you will be left to face all the ages of this world alone."

The prince manages to hold back his tears at the bitterness in his father’s voice, but the pain lingers.

"You will not pledge yourself to this dwarf prince. Do I make myself clear?" The prince can only nod before he is dismissed.

He considers for a moment running away: taking the dwarf prince and hiding deep within the forest where no one will find them. It is a foolish idea, he knows, and so he does what his father has demanded of him. The dwarf prince tries to understand why Oropher’s son has suddenly become so cruel and distant. All he receives in reply is a sharp and bitter, “Leave me be, dwarf.”

* * *

 

He finds Tauriel holding the deceased body of the young dwarf prince, tears streaming down her face.

"They want to bury him," she says plainly.

"Yes," is all he can manage to say.

"If this is love I do not want it. Take it from me, please." The plea almost puts tears in his eyes. He can see himself in her place, see himself clutching Thorin’s body, hoping that by some miracle the dwarf will live. He steps forward, pulled by the scene before him.

"Why does it hurt so much?" Tauriel cries, her grip on the dwarf getting tighter.

"Because it was real," Thranduil replies. He remains still as Tauriel bends forward and kisses the dwarf prince. In that moment he is thankful, thankful that he gave up Thorin when he did, that he pushed him away and tricked himself into thinking that he never cared for the dwarf. For what he felt for the dwarf king was real and he is unsure he could deal with the pain of losing the one you truly love.


End file.
